Do you constantly feel the weight of your own brain getting in the way of day to day tasks? Because I do. ADHD in motherhood can be a silent problem you are not even aware of until you hear about it. Once it was established and recognized it being a large problem for my day to day it was time to put the wheels in motion and try to make it manageable.
Here are my top tips to help navigate your ADHD in motherhood
***I want to start off by saying I am NOT a doctor or medical professional. Please consult a doctor or professional for more help.
I am simply a mom who has struggled and want to help others to find ways to make day to day easier.***
1. Make a flexible plan the night before
The first step I found to set myself up for success the following day. Break the day into segments as simple as you can.
For example: I have two nap times during the day. The first “chunk” of the day is pre – nap time. Milk, breakfast, milk, play/ task, nap.
Then during nap time have a personal task or .. RELAX! Once baby is up it is time for the second “chunk” of the day post – nap. Play, milk, lunch, play nap. Then it is personal task time again and onto the third “chunk” of the day. Milk, play dinner, bedtime routine, milk, bed.
Having that idea in your mind the night before will bring a level of clarity to the overwhelm that a day with kids can be. Managing ADHD is about trying to bring some calm to the chaos.
2. Write down your tasks for the day
To piggyback above (make a flexible plan the night before) once you begin your day physically write down your tasks for the day.
First thing in the morning get pen to paper to help visualize what tasks you want to do and can always come back to it to check if you get sidetracked. Also crossing things off a list is such a satisfying feeling.
Write down what are the top 3 things you’d like to get done during those times and write them as most important, would like to do and ok to skip. That way you also know and can continuously see what is most important to accomplish during the day.
3. If there is a task you can’t do with the kids are awake- do it during nap time
Now this sounds like a very easy thing to understand. BUT what this means is what can you truly not do with them awake.
Example: I used to wait until my baby was napping to eat lunch. Now as much as I love to eat lunch quietly – I can do it with my baby with me to give more time for a task I really can’t do when he is awake. Even if it is a sandwich or something simple like that, eating it with him and cleaning up quickly after maximizes my time to head to my list of the tasks I hope to complete that day.
When you have ADHD it is so easy to get sidetracked. And when your kids are awake it is even easier to get pulled from one task to another. So thinking of maximizing that time you have, looking at your list and keeping to your daily goals.
4. Don’t forget your kids can’t understand what you are feeling
ADHD in motherhood can be extremely overwhelming. Some days when the dog is barking, babies are upset, your sock gets wet and you feel your brain is going to explode- don’t take it out on your kids. Remind yourself they are only kids, and it is up to us to show them how we regulate our emotions.
Getting sidetracked easily and being pulled here and there can be exhausting and upsetting when all you want to do is complete a task. But letting your kids know- “hey mama needs some time to breathe.” The more you do it the more your kids will learn when they feel overwhelmed to take a breath and breathe.
5. Forgive yourself if your day changes
Probably the hardest thing to accept. Managing ADHD in motherhood is a hard, lifelong struggle. But learning new coping skills is the best way to have successful days. Forgiving yourself if something changes and accepting that alone can be hard when you are trying to improve your day to day.
You are trying your best for yourself and your family, and that means a lot.
If you have any tips to share with other mamas share them below!